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Why are all the dumb blonde jokes
one-liners? So men will understand them.
Name ten animals from Africa. Nine
elephants and a giraffe.
Two's company, three's a crowd but
what is four and five? Nine.
Which sexual position produces the
ugliest children? Ask your mother. |
I got rid of my husband. The cat
was allergic.
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.
A scientist crossed a skunk with an
owl. He's got a bird that smells but doesn't give a hoot.
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How much
deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would
they call it Fed UP?
If it's true that we are here to
help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
Ever wonder what the speed of
lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
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REMEMBER: if u need a FUCK, u can
always count on me bcoz F.U.C.K stands for FRIENDS U CAN KEEP.
Fuck 4ever, & promise me that we FUCK till eternity!
FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forGet but
how U forGive, Not how U liSten but how U UnderStand, Not what U
see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go but how U hold oN!!!
FriEndSHiP iS A PRiCeLeSs GiFt tHaT cAn'T Be BoUgHt Or SoLd, BuT
To Have An UnDeRsTaNdiNg FriEnd iS FaR MoRe WoRtH tHaN GoLd~!
If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If
you need me, come to me... If you need money... ........... THE
SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!
We gain and lose things every day. But trust me on one thing: YOU
WILL NEVER LOSE ME! I will always be there as a friend!
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches
your heart.
The times we shared is like shooting star... the time is short but
really beautiful moments.... Forever engraved in our hearts....
Friends forever~!!!
KeEping a FRIEND is As Difficult AS losing one. U sacrifice A lot
To keep them. I may not have sacrificed enuf 4 u... but in my
HEART I swear I'm keeping U..
We've known each other by CHANCE, became friends by CHOICE, still
friends by DECISION. And when we say FRIEND FOREVER, that's
definitely a lifetime PROMISE!
If friends were flowers I would not pick you! I'll let you grow in
the garden & cultivate you with love and care so I can keep you as
a friend 4ever!!
A ring is round and has no end.... and that's how long I'll be
your friend.
There is a gift that gold cannot buy, a blessing dats rare & true,
dats the gift of a wonderful friend like the friend dat i have in
u!
Wat u see as truth wat u see as lies remember that true friendship
never dies although we may change & drift apart, ill always value
u deep within my heart!
A friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are meant to
enter your life to bring you joy and laughter. So, i will treasure
the friendship between us.
Everyone hears what you say... Friends listen to what you say...
Best friends listen to what you don't say...
I want u 2 know that our friendship
means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh.. I laugh. U jump out of d
window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again.. hahaha
Friends are like stars. You can't always see them, But you know
they are always there for you... |
FRIENDSHIP is like a tree... It is not
MEASURED on how TALL it could be, but is on how DEEP the ROOTS
HAVE GROWN...
Without humor, life sux. Without courage, life is hard. Without
love, life is hopeless. Without friends like you, life is
impossible!
A good friend is like a computer; me 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in
my heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never
'delete' u from my memory!
In this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one thing is
DEFINITE. You'll always be my FRIEND, beyond WORDS, beyond TIME &
beyond DISTANCE!
I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by
angels but I call them my best friends.
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling
in love with you was completely out of my control.
A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay
together and never say good bye.
The ship that will never sink is my friendship with you.
I met U as a stranger, I leave U as a friend, as long as the world
stands, our friendship nv ends. All friends nv split N even if
they do they will meet again.
I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I
realised tat loving a friend is even better, we lose ppl we love
but we never lose true friends.
EveRyDay I seE LoTs oF StRangErS PasSiNg By mE, ThiS mAkeS mE
reAlisED tHat, LifE woUlD be BORING, WiThoUt A FriEnD LiKE U...
DuRiNg OuR FrIeNdShIp, ThErE wIlL B TiMeS U wOn't SeE Me BeSiDe U,
DuN ThInK I LeFt U BeHiNd, I JuSt ChOsE To WaLk BeHiNd U So I CaN
CaTcH U WhEn U Fall...
GUY: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. GAL: If I see you
naked, I'd probably die laughing.
After making love, wat r u tryin to say? I love u? Wrong! 1 more
time? Wrong. U r so pretty?Wrong. I'm so tired? Wrong! The answer
is tissue...tissue...plsss!!!
A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum. what is a kiss without a
tongue.
A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked woman
with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing & he
answered - waitng 4 autumn.
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a
button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off.
I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.
Why do fortune-tellers first ask
your name?
Be yourself,
there are enough other people. |
6 rules
to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from
worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have ME as
UR FRIEND
Time might lead me to nowhere; Fate might break me apart; I'll
always be thankful that once, along my life's journey I found a
friend like U...
The fluffy clouds may kiss the sky, The rose may kiss the
butterfly, The morning dew may kiss the grass,But u my friend can
kiss my ass!
I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime
she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land....
Friends are like a head of hair. You might lose some, but with
enough $money$ you can buy them back.
A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U
making my everyday seems so great. Thank U my good friend lastly
gd nite n sweet dreams...a
gd friend is like a gd bra... hard to find, very comfortable,
supportive, and always close to the heart..... HELLO MY GD BRA :)
GOD is so wise that he never created FRIENDS with pricetags,
Because..... if He did, I can't afford a precious FRIEND like
YOU!!!
Never abandon old friends. They are hard 2 replace. Friendships is
like wine: it gets BETTER as it grows OLDER. Just like us... i get
BETTER, u get OLDER.
The sun is glazing, upon the sunlight i see the path of our
friendship shining brightly knowing that it is so great to have a
friend like YOU! :)
Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me
sexy? If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat.
Amen.
Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent,
Spontaneous, Good Looking, Nice Friends, Charming, Funny, well...
Enough about ME! How about you?
A phone is a form of communication, a kiss is a form of affection.
A picture is a form of remembrance, CHOOSING me as ur FRIEND is a
form of.. ehem GOOD TASTE!
If U need a friend and there are a hundred steps between us, you
can take the 1st step to get near me and i will take all 99 step
to be there for you.
Many people will walk in and out of
your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your
heart.
As long as we have memories, yesterday remains; as long as we have
hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have Friendship, each day is
never a waste.
1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I
said to the guy, 'Hey buddy, why are you doing that?' He said,
'Because you came home early.'
Girls are like phones, we like to
be held and talked too, but if you press the wrong button you'll
be disconnected!
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it goes in dry, it comes out wet,
the stronger its in the stronger it get,
we can have it in bed just u n me,
not what u think
- teabag
[- pertunia moyana]
Wht do U cll a vicar on a mo2r bike?
Rev.
what r the 3 fastest ways of communication?
a-telephone
b-television
c-tell-a woman
[- dolcicaramella]
how do you keep a mongole busy? read below.
how do you keep a mongole busy? read above.
[- alex]
mental anxiety,
mental breakdowns,
menstrual cramps,
menopause...
...did you ever notice how all womans problems begin with MEN!
Wht do U cll a h&cuffed man?
Trus2rthy.
If you really wanna get stoned, drink wet cement.
I intend to live for ever and so far everything goes well.
This msg can only be read by a SEXY person:
...............
Try again......
...............
Sorry, i guess your just not sexy...
...............
HEY! dont force it, ugly!!! |
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station
[- harji]
why did the blonde climb a glass block?
to see what was on the other side
[- bex]
Hw do U communic@e with a fish?
Drop it a line.
If u think life is bad, imagine being a chicken egg... U only get
laid once, u only get smashed once and the only bird who sits on
your face is your mum
[- a]
life's not a garden,
so stop acting like a hoe!
[- liz]
Abracadabra
Nope, ur still ugly!
Y dnt c@s shv?
Coz they prefer whiskers!
How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease
her, protect her, listen to her, support her
How to impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't
get some support people are going to think we're nuts!
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I'm sweet
like sugar,
soft like suade,
but unlike nintentdo,
i never get played!
[- liz]
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